“The Size of the Crowd At Your…”
For many years Bill Williams anchored the evening news broadcast for WBIR-TV in Knoxville, Tennessee. Because of the high profile position he held, he was/is very well known. There are not many folks in the greater Knoxville area that would consider him to be a stranger. In fact, he is fairly well known here in the mountains of North Carolina because he cohosted (with WLOS-TV) the “Friends of the Smokies Tel-a-thon Fund Raiser” each year.
Several years ago I heard Bill speak to an audience in Tennessee. He did an excellent job during the presentation. It was well received by the audience. During the speech he told a number of entertaining stories. Most of the stories were very humorous. I remember one of them in particular. He said that once he visited a very small, rural community in a mountainous area near Knoxville. During his visit, he had the opportunity to meet and interview several different folks. He said one of the men he talked with stated “You really are something Mr. Williams. I see you on the TV all of the time. You’ve been on there for lots of years now. Why, I bet there are not many folks around here that are better known than you are. But let me tell you something. The size of the crowd at your funeral will more than likely be dependent more upon the weather that day than anything else.” When he finished telling the story he just shrugged his shoulders and said “He put things in proper perspective. Enough said.”
From time to time it is good to have a “reality check”. While Bill Williams did many wonderful things he used the story to illustrate the point that it is good to stop and evaluate your life and efforts every once in a while. When we take advantage of those times of self-evaluation there are a few things we would do well to remember. First of all, try not to be too hard on yourself. Sure, you could probably have done better, handled things better, responded better, and so forth. But, cut yourself some slack. Second of all, avoid making a bunch of excuses for the reasons you did not do better. It is what it is. Your life is your life and you are responsible for it. While there may be some very legitimate reasons things may have turned out differently than you expected, planned, or hoped for; just accept it as it is and move on from there. A third thing to remember is to avoid casting blame towards others and situations and/or circumstances. It is tempting to seek to blame others and things for our faults, failures, and mistakes. However, the “blame game” is only going to result in anger, guilt, shame, pessimism, and a reluctance to move on towards a better day and time. My fourth suggestion (Remember now- my suggestions are free and are therefore worth just about what you are paying for them.) is to keep things in proper perspective. As much as is possible, do not allow things to become too big or make them too small. Just because Chicken Little got hit in the head with one acorn he jumped to the conclusion the whole sky was falling. Get real! Somethings deserve more of our attention and energy than others. Learning to determine the difference between the two can be liberating for you. The fifth suggestion I offer is to learn and recognize your limitations. Attempting to exceed your limitations can be defeating. Doing less and using less than is possible is only a cop-out. Instead of developing a better outcome you may only increase the pain and frustration that may result. Wisdom is knowing the difference between possible and impossible and living accordingly. Finally (I know you thought I was never going to reach this point.), try not to over analyze stuff. There is a phrase that is used “the paralysis of analysis”. If one is not careful they can allow fear, failure to give credit where credit is due, lack of an accurate assessment of available and potential resources, and a deficit of motivation to keep one from being/becoming a more positive and productive person.
I have no idea the number of folks that might show up when the funeral will happen over me. Hopefully, someone will be there to say a few kind words (even if they have to make them up).
Now listen here- I am not planning on having one soon!