“Maintaining Your Jolly During the Season of Holly” – Part 2
Larry Reeves, Region A- Long Term Care Ombudsman, Southwestern Planning Commission
I am the Regional Ombudsman for Long Term Care. In this capacity, I spend a fair amount of my time in (and around) skilled nursing homes, adult care homes, and family group homes. While none of these facilities are perfect, most of them are very good. Many of the direct care staff, employed by the facilities, are wonderful, caring, and compassionate. Their jobs are difficult and demanding. I am not sure that I would be able to do as well as many of them. Certainly, there are some that could improve in the care they offer to the residents of the facilities. The primary focus of my job is to help ensure the residents receive the care they require in the ways they should receive it. Efforts to encourage improvement in all areas of caregiving in facilities are an ongoing part of what I do.
In addition to my professional responsibilities, I am also a caregiver for my father. I live with him in our family home. He has a number of chronic health issues that require close monitoring and attention. Without my presence in the home (during the nights and weekends) and my sister and brother-in-law’s availability (during the times I am away from the house) my father would not be able to stay in his own home. I understand the caregiving journey. I live it.
During the holiday season there are many times when all of the preparations and activities can be overwhelming for both the care receivers and the caregivers. While we would like to hold on to all of the holiday traditions and meet everyone’s expectations, we just cannot do it. The realities we face in dealing with the care needs and the caregiving tasks place limitations on our abilities to attend to every expectation and to our personal energy levels as well.
Through the years I have found many helpful suggestions, from a wide variety of sources, as to ways to “maintain your jolly through the season of holly”. Let me share a few of them that I have found to be most helpful:
- Recognize the signs of stress and burnout. When you reach your limits it is time to reduce, refocus, reshape, and release.
- Decide what is important and worthwhile and stick with it. You cannot do everything, be everything, and go everywhere. Determine the things that are most important and stick tight.
- Simplify everything you possibly can. You do not have to go all out for everything. Just let those closest to you know that you are scaling back in order to have more jolly in your life.
- Let the folks that want to give you gifts know what you need. You might let some folks come over a “sit” while you go out for a bit. Why not tell them you need some frozen foods or canned goods that can be turned into a quick meal when needed? Why not let them know of some household chores they could do for you? Why not…?
- When asked as to your well-being, tell them. Nothing communicates like communication. Be honest and upfront when they ask you. Avoid the “pity party” talk.
The holidays can be a wonderful time of celebration and recognition of those things that matter the most. To be able to provide care for one you love is an honor. While it may be stressful and demanding; it can also be rewarding and fulfilling. That may be enough to help maintain your jolly.