“Let’s Just Join the Parade”
It was the first Friday in December. Grouse hunting in Snake Hollow (near Sneedville, TN) had been productive. Our return trip to Corryton (north of Knoxville) would only take about an hour and a half, if everything went smoothly. I needed to be in Knoxville by 2:30 pm. We would head to Tazewell on US 25E, turn south on State Hwy 33, cruise through Maynardville, take a couple of backroads, and make it in plenty of time.
We arrived in Tazewell at just about 12:00 noon. Low and behold, the whole town was shut down. Every thoroughfare was blocked. It seemed as though everyone in Claiborne County had made their way to Tazewell. All of the schools had dismissed their students early. Never in my life had I seen so many pickup trucks parked along the side streets. Hundreds of people were making their way to Main Street. It was time for the annual Christmas Parade. No doubt about it, Santa Claus was coming to town! Excitement was in the air. But, Lenny (my hunting partner) and I were in a hurry. We did not have time for all these good folks to get shoved into the “spirit of the season” by watching a bunch of firetrucks, law enforcement vehicles, overloaded pickup trucks with folks throwing hard candy at innocent spectators, miniature cheerleaders, mite and midget football players, handcrafted floats, horseback riders on horses dropping scented obstacles for the marchers from the high school band to avoid as they played “Here Comes Santa Claus” on their instruments of brass and banged on their kettle drums, antique cars and trucks, Mr. and Mrs. Something-or-the-other waving and pointing their way along, and so forth. We had to be in Knoxville! Forget this stuff! Let us through and we will be on our way, out of your way. However, it was not going to happen.
Just about the time I was getting all “Bah-Hum-Bugged” up in my self-centered “I’ve got to get to Knoxville” persona, I was struck with a grand idea. I turned to Lenny and said, “Let’s just join the parade”. Immediately, he liked the idea and into motion we set our plan. Lenny got into the back of the muddy pickup truck in which we were riding. He put one of the hunting dogs on one side of him with the other one on the opposite side. I pulled up to the intersection, having turned my headlights on, waiting for the right opportunity. There was a break between two of the floats, out onto Main Street we pulled, joining the parade. Both Lenny and I used our “parade wave” as down the street we proceeded. All of the way through Tazewell, TN we drove, waving to everyone. We acted as though we belonged. The sidewalk gawkers must have thought we did because they were pointing back at us, yelling encouragement (At least, that is what I thought they were yelling.) After a mile or so the main body of the parade made a left-hand turn while Lenny and I went right, headed on towards Maynardville and Knoxville.
We got back in time for me to keep my appointment that afternoon. Things seemed to be going along fairly well until I turned on WBIR-TV 10 (Knoxville) in order to watch the 6:00 pm local, evening news. Wouldn’t you know it? They had dispatched a reporter and camera-person to Tazewell for coverage of the Christmas Parade. Yes, there we were, right in the middle of the parade. At least Lenny and I had our “parade wave” going for us.