“Just Follow That Greyhound Bus”
Gordon and his older brother Pinkney (Pink for short) like to peddle peaches. They grew up and lived in a house on Cove Creek Mountain, in Haywood County, North Carolina. Also, living in the house were their elderly parents, two unmarried/never married sisters, and three children belonging to the sisters (Shh! That is something we do not talk about.). Of course, like most folks in that day and time they raised a crop of tobacco, some corn for the milk cows and plow horses/mules, a big garden, several types of “old timey” apples, and a bunch of Plott Hounds for chasing foxes and hunting bears.
While Pink never had a driver’s license, Gordon did. Gordon always had a car. He used the car to go back and forth to Waynesville, and occasionally over to Asheville. However, the primary use for the car was to haul corn liquor from down around Newport, Tennessee; through the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, so he could deliver it to his customers for consumption and distribution. But that’s another story for another day. In late summer Gordon could always come up with a truck. Pink and he would take the truck to the northern parts of South Carolina (around Chesnee, Lyman, Cooley Springs, Gaffney, and so forth) in order to buy a truck load of peaches to bring back for peddling; sometimes door-to-door and sometimes from a roadside stand.
One summer Gordon acquired a suitable truck and off to South Carolina Pink and he went. They had developed relationships with some growers through the years. On this particular trip they were headed to an area near Gaffney. They arrived at their destination and found that the grower they were seeking was nowhere to be found. After looking around a bit they came across a fellow that was sitting beneath a shade-tree alongside of the road. They stopped and struck up a conversation with him. They told him of their mission. The fellow offered to help them by taking them to a friend of his that had some peaches for sale. So the fellow got in the truck with them and off they went. As they drove along the fellow disclosed to Pink and Gordon that his friend, in addition to growing peaches, made some of the finest “peach brandy” to be found anywhere in that part of South Carolina. That information got Pink and Gordon’s attention. Arriving at their destination they found the grower. Indeed he had some fine peaches. They came to an agreement on the price they were willing to pay and the number of bushels they would buy.
As they were preparing to load the peaches on the truck Gordon let the grower know that the fellow had told them about the peach brandy. While initially suspicious of Pink and Gordon (Revenuers?), he finally decided they were alright so he brought out a quart jar from his well-hidden stash. Taking the lid off he passed it to them for a “sniff and a snort”. As soon as they smelled it and tasted it they knew it was “fine”. They reached an agreement whereby they would put several quarts and pints in the bottom of the baskets of peaches, covering the jars with peaches, just in case they were stopped by law enforcement. Gordon insisted that the grower allow him to take the quart jar they had sampled with them in the cab of the truck. Having completed the transaction they headed back towards home.
They found that the quart jar contents provided much needed refreshment as they traveled along. Pretty soon the jar was empty. They stopped beside the road and retrieved another jar from one of the baskets of peaches. A couple of hardy drinks later they saw a small road-side diner in Cowpens. They decided they were hungry so they stopped and went inside for a meal. Upon finishing their meal they exited the diner and returned to their truck. By that time the full force of the consumption of a half-gallon of peach brandy kicked in. Neither Pink nor Gordon were able to remember where they were and certainly not how to get back home. They were not quite sure of their own names, as a matter of fact. While they were in the midst of their discussion of their next action a Greyhound Bus went speeding by. Happily, Gordon said, “Why Pink, we’ll just follow that Greyhound Bus. It will go through Waynesville about 5 o’clock this evening. Then we can find our way from there to Cove Creek.” So that’s what they did. They fell in behind that Greyhound Bus. It never dawned on them that there was more than one Greyhound Bus in all of the world. And, that Greyhound Buses traveled all over the place. Therefore, at about 5 o’clock in the evening they arrived safely in Cummings, Georgia. By then, they had sobered up enough to drive all night back to their Cove Creek home.
So be careful my friends. Do not, ”just follow that Greyhound Bus”. For if you do, there is no telling where you might end up.