“I Never Thought That I Would…”
A few years back my daughter and I were in the ABC Store in Waynesville, together. We were looking to buy some corn-liquor. We were going to buy it “legally”. No doubt, some of you may have acquired some “illegally” in the days gone by. However, the days gone by are the days gone by. I never secured any corn-liquor in the days gone by. I have been in a place or two where it was being distilled. I have smelled the sour-mash. I have watched some folks stir in the “mash tub”. I have tasted it. I have been around folks that were consuming it. But, the only corn-liquor that I ever bought was that day my daughter and I were in the ABC Store, looking to purchase some. I did not mind that I would have to pay taxes on my purchase. There is no way in the world that I would even consider trying to avoid the taxes by getting a jar from some place other than a legitimate, legal, retail outlet for such beverages as corn-liquor.
We were going to buy a couple of quarts of corn-liquor for medicinal purposes. Our intentions were very good. The corn-liquor was going to be mixed with some honey, maybe a pinch of ginger, and “rock” candy. The mixture was going to be placed in a cool, dark place. It was going to be allowed to steep for a while, allowing the candy to dissolve completely and the honey to be fully integrated with the corn-liquor. Every few days, during the steeping process, the jars containing the mixture would be taken from their abiding place and shaken vigorously for a few seconds and then returned to continue steeping. After a while (The “while” length of time would be determined by the one in charge of the process.), the mixture would be ready for use and distribution. Those on the “distribution list” were always anxious to be able to get their portion, and to begin using it “as needed”. “As needed” was dependent and decided upon at the first sign/symptom that it was needed. What was it to be used for? Well, did you ever have a cough that you just could not get to stop? The kind of cough that can keep you awake all night? No matter what you take, the tickle in the throat remains? One of those where you eat a whole bag of cough-drops, but you still are hacking away? You know, the kind where you cough so much your ribs and stomach hurt. Well, this mixture is for that kind of a cough. You take a couple of tablespoons of it and your cough disappears and you just might get the best night of sleep you ever had.
Anyway, my daughter and I were on a mission. We had to find a couple of jars of corn-liquor. As we were walking down one of the aisles of the ABC Store my daughter suddenly burst out laughing. She was laughing so hard that she had to sit down in the middle of the aisle as her laughter spell caused her to lose her breath. She had tears streaming down her cheeks. She was unable to answer my “why questions” because of her laughter. This went on for a couple of minutes. Every time it appeared as though she was regaining control she would just burst out all over again. The other customers, in the store, had started looking our way in an effort to see what was going on. It was obvious. She could not help it. She was tickled all over, more than any place else. Finally, she got enough control to speak to me. She said, “Dad, I never thought that I would be in a liquor store looking to buy some corn-liquor for my grandfather, who is an ordained Baptist preacher, with my father who is also an ordained Baptist preacher” (Yes. That is my background.). I sat down in the floor beside her and joined in on the laughter.
You see, my father has mixed up a whole lot of the recipe for cough syrup, for lots of folks, through the years. It works. In fact, I need to go by the ABC Store pretty soon since cold weather is coming. My daughter will not be with me; although I will see her sitting in the aisle, with tears streaming down her cheeks, saying, “I never thought that I would…”