“Coat and Tie Required”
One early morning I was heading west on US 23-74, getting into the edge of Jackson County, when a medium sized bear (weighing 175-200 lbs.) decided to cross the highway, coming from right to left. I was behind an older model Toyota pick-up truck. The driver of the pick-up was unable to avoid hitting the bear. The impact left the truck with a smashed front-end, a shaken driver, and a dying bear lying in the road. I immediately stopped in order to see whether or not the driver was in need of assistance. Thankfully, he was fine. I assisted him as we drug the now dead bear out of the road. He called for law enforcement. I left the scene as he was waiting for them to come to him.
As I drove away, I recalled a story that I had heard many years ago and had not thought of for a long, long time. There was this man who had spent a long day bear hunting in one of the mountain counties here in the western part of North Carolina. He had finished his fruitless efforts, loaded his hounds into the box in the back of his truck, and started heading for his home. He was tired and weary. He was frustrated from his day where his hounds failed to strike a “hot trail” and had only been “cold trailing” for most of the day. When he got ready to end his day he was able to retrieve his hounds without too much trouble, with the exception of one of his little females that was reluctant to come when he called for her. After a bit of calling and searching, he was finally able to get her in the box. As he was driving toward his home he realized that he was hungry, real hungry. He decided to go into a little town, unfamiliar to him, in search of a place where he could get something to eat. He drove around for a few minutes, finally finding a restaurant. He parked his truck and headed in to the building. As he drew close to the place he met a few customers coming out. He noticed they were dressed up, but he really did not pay much attention to it. Reaching the main entrance he was met by a man who greeted him with, “Good evening, sir. Will you being dining with us this evening?” The bear hunter replied, “Well, yeah. I am hoping I can get something to eat in here.” The greeter said, “Do you have a reservation?” “No. I don’t. I was driving through and saw this place and decided to stop.” At that point, the greeter stated, “Well sir, we are a fine dining establishment. Most of our customers make reservations well ahead of time in order to be assured we can accommodate them. And, furthermore, our policy is for our diners to be properly attired to have dinner in our restaurant. The ladies dress in appropriate evening clothes, preferably with high-heel shoes on their feet. We require that the men wear a coat and tie to be admitted.” The bear hunter was able to view the inside of the establishment and remarked that it appeared there were several empty places where another customer could be seated. The greeter affirmed the remark, again commenting on the ‘dress code’ for male diners. “I could seat you. However, I must insist that you wear a coat and tie” the greeter said. Well, the bear hunter turned and walked back to his truck. He was hungry. He had not seen any other places to get a meal in this small town. As he opened the door to his truck he saw his hunting coat laying in the passenger seat. He said to himself, “That feller just said I had to have a coat on to go into his ‘fine dining establishment’. He did not say the kind of a coat it had to be.” So, the bear hunter just put on his hunting coat. He remembered the man said that he would need a tie as well. He looked in the cab of his truck for something that he could tie around his neck. The only thing that he was able to find was a set of jumper cables, so he tied them around his neck. He returned to the front door of the restaurant. The same greeter was there. The bear hunter asked to be seated for dinner. The greeter started to give his spill about the “dress code”. However, before he was able to get too far with it, the bear hunter interrupted the man. “Listen here Mister, you told me that I needed to be wearing a coat and a tie in order to be seated in your dining establishment. You did not tell me what kind of coat and tie I needed, just that I had to be wearing one.” Grasping the lapel of his hunting coat and shaking it vigorously he said, “This here is a coat.” He then took hold of one end of the jumper cables and said, “You told me I had to have a tie on. Well, these are tied around my neck. You can show me to my table now. I am about to starve to death.” Completely taken aback by this turn of events, the greeter said, “When sir, follow me to your table. I will seat you. However, you must promise me one thing.” The bear hunter said, “What’s that?” The greeter responded by grabbing hold of one end of the jumper cables and holding them up, “That you will not try to start anything while you are here.”